1.If you know that the guy is a football fan, get front seats to a football game and then prevent him from watching the final. Send him to the refreshments stand to get you a Coke instead, ensuring that he misses seeing that last crucial game-winning goal.
2.Take him to a chick flick marathon. If that isn't annoying enough, quiz him throughout the movie about what he's thinking. Ensure that a big beefy fan of Sleepless in Seattle gets annoyed and sweetly tell him that your boyfriend could wipe the floor with him. Only be comforting after the guy gets a black eye.
3.Let him cook dinner for you- his specialty of roast lamb. Then when he's proudly offering you the meal he's slaved over all afternoon, you start sobbing and say that you wished you ate meat. Then sing 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' and burst into fresh tears, until he offers to take you to a vegetarian restaurant, where you tell everyone within earshot that you can't eat, because your boyfriend thinks you're fat.
4.Photoshop pictures of yourself together and create a family album. It doesn't matter that you've only just met- create pictures of your wedding and your two children.
5.Redecorate his apartment. Make sure that everything reflects your girly tastes, from the fluffy pink toilet seat cover to the collection of teddy bears.
6.Interrupt his long-awaited poker night. Cough pointedly until the boys put out their cigars. Take away the chips and sodas and offer them healthier snacks. Then tell everyone else what cards he has.
7.Make him excited and think he's going to another football game when you tell him you have front seat tickets to something he'll really enjoy. He'll eventually find out that it's a Celine Dion concert.
8.Take him to couples therapy. Accuse him one moment of being gay. The next moment, accuse him of hitting on the (female) therapist.
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